Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
