i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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