This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
