you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
