Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just found puke in my bra..
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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