you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
