Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
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She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
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Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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