Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
