I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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