ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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