Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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