my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
