can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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