What a fucking waste of an outfit
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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