So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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