I don't think brook has ever known best
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.