brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
