We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
