Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.