Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I think people are normalizing furries
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
