I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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