I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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