The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Farmville is her only friend.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
