just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
