No subtext here. People are naked.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
