So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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