this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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