Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
