can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
There was a lot of him and a little penis
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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