I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
