when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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