Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
