I am puke
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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