it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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