well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Two words: blizzard sex
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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