I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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