I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think i peed on brittanys purse
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
