I smell stomach acid.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
