I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
