So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Ketchup is God's man juice
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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