I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
