so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
