would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
