Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he shaved USA in his pubs
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize