dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
