would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
