Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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