There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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