just come out here and I will go home with you...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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