I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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