We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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