No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
