she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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