thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
