Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize