so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
