incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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