i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
