do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
