Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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