Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I love you.
Bad choice
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