How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
