Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
