Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
