just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
tell your sister to shave her snatch
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He passed out mid-signature
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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