his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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