I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Quick, to the slutcave!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
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There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
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I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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